Well I woke this morning feeling like in one respect, that this was going to be the last day of feeling good for a very long time..... but I also felt that at the end of the day I would be one down, seven to go.... and one step closer to ridding this aweful disease from my body!
I kept myself busy today and we went for a nice walk before my afternoon appnt at The Wesley. I made another hat this morning and read quite a bit (I'm so close to finishing The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo) so the morning went quite quickly.
I now have a sewing room..... Matty and I purchased an old style table yesterday and we have sanded it back and painted it with a limewash finish and it looks fabulous in our room. I was also very spoilt yesterday when my lovely parents arrived with a new flash sewing machine (which looks far too high tech for me at the moment!!) to sit on my table, so it was very exciting that I now have a hobby room.... I have found that even on the days when I feel tired, there is always something I can do in sewing, but I think I'm going to have to divert away from hats fairly soon as I can imagine they will bore me in a few weeks time! (but if you would like one, let me know!!)
So I have just arrived home from my first chemo session. I was really scared and anxious about it and didn't really know what to expect. The first thing that hit me was all of the old bald people in there having their treatment.... oh god, I'm going to look like that next month!!! (but i didn't see any fabulous head scarves!)
The treatment went for about 4 hours today. They take a blood test first and get the results back from that - approx 30mins, then I took an anti nausia drug and had to wait for one hour until they put the chemo drugs into me..... so after the long wait, they began putting them in.... I could feel them instantly and they sent a warm feeling through my arm.... I had signs of feeling a bit dizzy by the time it was finished.... but now that I'm home, it feels like a normal friday evening - I feel a bit light headed from a few glasses of champas!!!! But obviously I haven't had the champas (boy I wish I had!). But if these toxins make me feel like I've had a few glasses, I think they will become my good friend! On a serious not, I have been advised to drink plenty of liquids to get the poison out of my body as quickly as possible (we are thinking of having an all night movie party so I can stay up and drink water!!!)
While we were sitting there, we were givin all of these forms which explain all of the side effects of chemo - that makes depressing reading let me tell you!! The lovely nurse offered to put a Chemo DVD on for me to which I kindly declined..... I figure I will find out myself soon enough and I want to talk happy things for as many moments in my life until I'm physically or mentally unable to....
Thank you for all of your wishes and thoughts which are continuing to flood in. I love receiving your calls, messages and emails, Please do forgive me if I am not great at responding to calls/messages over the next few days as I am not sure how I will be feeling so we are very much taking each day as it comes right now.
So I have completed chemo Number 1! This is all about getting to the end so now that it has begun, the countdown is on...... the next stage is hair loss.... did I say last week that hair was overrated?? I didn't mean that actually......because the reality has hit me today I will lose my hair and that really saddens me.....
You are one step nearer to the end Suze - keep positive and keep drinking the water! Also do you have a juicer? They are a really great way of making sure you get lots of nutrients through one glass, particularly if you are not feeling hungry.
ReplyDeleteI know you are sad at the thought of losing your hair, but it will grow back before you know it, just as beautiful as before. Thinking of you always xxxx
Oh Susie-wooz, you will still be as gorgeous as ever - just keep reading that Hair is Over-rated blog!! You have so many beautiful scarves and hats you have to start wearing them sometime! You're on that train now Suse and you have 7 stops left. Keep your eye on that prize at the end. None of us can understand why it has to be you that goes through this, but remember you have a huge cheer squad and support team here with you every step of the way to get you through it.
ReplyDeleteEnjoy your all night movie party and keep drinking that water! (just put it in a champagne glass - it's Friday night afterall!)
Lots of Love as always, this time next week, I'll be there! Shell xoxo
Dear Susie,
ReplyDeleteLosing your hair will be sad, will be frustrating and will (initially) be bloody upsetting....however all these feelings are temporary, and I can assure you that the feeling of when your hair starts to grow back is far more powerful and positive and exciting than the negative aspects of losing it.
When I started to loose a few strands, I took control (being a control freak personality) and got my nurse to get the clippers and shave the darn hair off. It was liberating and made me feel like I was the boss and making a choice, rather than having a choice removed from me.
I was a wig wearer...and if you team a wig WITH either a scarf or a hat, then no one is any the wiser!! (Although I was a scarfie in Dunedin at the time, I do recall being at Gardies and having some dude pull my hat off me and he ended up with my wig as well - but he was far more upset/shocked about it than I was luckily). For me I loved that no strangers could look at me with pity, and think 'oh poor cancer victim', so wearing a disguise (aka Wig) was helpful for me. You however sound much more courageous than I ever was, and I am sure will handle your beautiful baldness, scarves, hats and wigs with complete dignity.
Thinking of you lots, and sending oodles of good wishes and positive vibes from Auckland to you...
Love Hayley (Kylie's friend)