As you know, this week marks my final week with hair. I'm not sure whether I'll make it to the end of the week but I am really hoping so as we are celebrating my Dad's birthday on Saturday over lunch at a restaurant (please hair, hold on until then!!!).
Obviously I am very upset about this loss which I think could possibly be the most difficult part of the challenge over the next six months. While I have endured surgery and one chemo treatment so far, the reality is that no one from the outside in can tell that I'm sick; with my hair loss, everyone will notice! Let's just say that a couple of weeks ago my new hat/scarf collection was being pulled out of the drawer every day for a bit of an experiment...... for the past two weeks they have been out of sight as the reality is hitting me hard that this is my last week of looking well..... like Susie!
I feel this is a really defining moment for me as it will take a lot of courage to walk outside and not care what other people think.... and possibly get used to being stared at regularly! (hence the reason why I'm now seriously contemplating a wig).
Rather than simply being upset about it, I have decided to take control and create an opportunity for other people from it..... so I have created an online fundraising website at http://www.everydayhero.com.au/susie_johnson and I am asking all of you to make a small donation towards Queensland's leading cancer research agency Cancer Council Queensland. If we can all contribute to finding alternative treatments to chemo more quickly, it will be hugely rewarding to know that we have prevented someone from having to go through the ordeal of chemo. The reality is that if there was an alternative treatment available, I would not have to endure the pain and sickness that chemo brings, nor would I lose my hair!
I am also hosting a small PINK high tea party on Sunday with my close friends to celebrate either the final days of having my hair or possibly the first day of not having any! I am looking forward to that.
I have had a super week end of feeling really great. I have had my first hat order (from my sister!) so I'm feeling loved and it was great to spend the week end doing normal things and feeling so happy!
I promise that my next update will have pics of my new hats and the sewing room!
Hi Suzie,
ReplyDeleteI am sending you a big hug via blogspot. I found that losing my hair was the worst bit, it made me realise that I was actually sick! No matter how much you read, or how you prepare for it - nothing can stop that feeling of dread when your hair comes out in clumps. However, always the optimist - I remembered that it was the treatment making me sick, not the disease. With each horrid chemo treatment, you are one closer to the end and closer to being yourself again. I had very thick hair and when it started falling out, it wasn't noticeable and my mum said I should hang on to it for as long as possible. I couldn't cope with watching it fall out over a week, it felt like I was avoiding the inevitable. I had my best friend's husband shave it for me, it was tough, but it was the right thing for me. I was anti-wig when I started, but I ended up buying a good one which I wore when I went to the rugby. I used to get around in scarves, and people do stare at you like you are wearing a moose head for a hat. I wore berets and beanies and people don't stare at you at all (Mimco have very cute ones). On the upside, I shaved my legs today for the first time since January!
Also, a friend of mine went through chemo and her hair didn't fall out at all! Let's hope your hair is super strong and stays in. If it doesn't - enjoy the chemo brazilian and not having to shave anywhere!
Big hug,
Karen x
Dear Suse, I think Karen, above, has said all you need to hear and how brave she is! I do understand the feeling of loss you must be going through but just look forward to the day you will have to shave your legs and dry your new hair. Also, please will you make me a hat that will not make me look ridiculous (I've never yet found one that suits me so there's a challenge.)
ReplyDeleteKeep up the good work Suse
All our love
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