I cannot tell you how many hours I have spent lying in bed, usually in tears, wishing for this day to come..... and I'm feeling so overjoyed, relieved and grateful that it is here. Today is my final chemo day and at 1.20pm today (7 January 2011) I will be enduring the last session of poison entering my body which is such an amazing feeling.
While I still have my radiation treatment, my hormone follow up treatment and reconstruction to face, I am still so happy that I will never have to feel so terribly sick hopefully ever again!
I am still dreading today's treatment, mainly because I will need a blood transfusion if my red cell count has gone down one point and I had a half dosage on my last treatment because of my feet being so sore, so I will be very devastated if I have to go back to the full dosage today as I know my feet will get infected if I do....... they are still very tender and will not recover until post chemo but I would love for everyone to cross everything and hope that I get the reduced dosage today.........
I am so excited by the prospect of now starting to recover. For the past 3 treatments, I haven't felt much change over the three week period as my body is always so tired and weak so it is going to be amazing to not have to go back for chemo from now on and gradually improve my strength and fitness.
I am also very excited about my hair growing back; it is very hot wearing a wig during this heat and humidity so I cannot wait to have my own short 'do'!!! It will be exciting to have eyelashes back too as my eyes have been quite painful for the past few treatments.... so I will welcome them back with open arms.....
As for the hot flushes, which have now become quite unbearable, I never want to feel them again after this recovery; I now have much more empathy for every woman going through menopause! It is hell!
I know I have said this to all of the people that are closest to me but I am lost for words when it comes to expressing my gratitude and appreciation for the love, kindness and support that everyone I know has shown to me during this journey. I could never have done this as well as I have without the constant reminders of how much you care about me and love me so thank you......(I sit here crying as I write this bit)
It's a momentous day and one that I'm both dreading but feeling very excited about......
Let this day be the beginning of wellness for all of us.........one of my friends has just said she's going to eat chocolate today and hope that I can taste it too........what a treat and I'm very much looking forward to that Shannon!
At about 5pm today I can FINALLY say 8 down, NONE to go!!! What a feeling it will be!
xxx
Susie, I am so glad that you are now at the tail end of Chemo. I know that it takes a toll because I have seen my mother and aunt go through this. There is light at the end of the tunnel. Keep positive and I will definetly include you in my prayers..Hoping that 2011 would be wonderful for you ..Lots of love and hugs , Gowri xxx
ReplyDeleteHey Suse, well right about now, you'll be in that chair, probably dreading the needles, but hopefully with an air of relief that this is the last one. It's not going to be any easier than any of the others, but at least it's the LAST time you have to do this! We are extremely proud of the way you've handled this with such dignity, positivity and quite a bit of humour at times, and it really still astounds me that this has consumed our lives for the past 6 months. Whoever would have guessed 12 months ago that this would be happening to you now?
ReplyDeleteBut you are an incredible women and may this be the end of something awful for you and the start of a new year which brings lots of exciting plans and adventures. You have so much to look forward to this year and I can't wait to be part of that with you.
Lots of love always, your big sis Shell xoxo
PS please keep writing your blog as it always brightens my day to see a new post, even if I have already heard most of the stories! :)
Thank God! I know I do. You have been and continue to be such an inspiration. I pray that I'm like you when I grow up!
ReplyDeleteJOxx
Susie,
ReplyDeleteI have just read your post and burst out crying. They are happy tears though, I remember the feeling of my last chemo treatment. It was joyous! You have survived the worst of it! I remember thinking that I would wake up after my last chemo and feel back to normal - which obviously didn't happen. I have to keep reminding myself that recovery is a process, not an event. Enjoy getting your life and body back!
Karen x
Susie, I found your journal by doing a Google search for some answers to my never-ending questions about chemotherapy, which I am just about to begin (this Friday the 14th of January, 2011). I've read through your journal from the beginning. I'm so thankful that you took the time to do this. You've probably helped more people than you realize. I rejoice for you and your LAST chemo treatment. I dread my first, but dread the thought of returning cancer even more. Because of your courage to write, I also began a Blogger journal hoping to help yet another poor breast cancer victim get yet unlearned answers. Go Go Go, Susie!
ReplyDeleteHi I am sitting in the hospital awaiting my last chemo bags to arrive and felt so elated and happy I typed in 'last chemo' and found you. Your post describes exactly how I feel today after 6 months of horrible chemo for Hogdkins Lymphoma. Hope you are continuing to be well and can't wait to start on my recovery journey too! Anni / Uk
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