Chemo Treatment No. 2

It's Sunday morning; about 36 hours after my second chemo treatment. I decided to have my blood test before this chemo session as they had troubles extracting blood from the vein in my hand last time, so this worked much better for me and I will continue to do this before every session.

My blood test revealed a surprisingly big change in my red and white blood cells; particularly the white. They have gone from 8.9 to 3.1 in just three weeks, which means that I have far fewer cells fighting infections; hence the need for me to be extremely careful around illness. The minimum number of cells you need to have is 2, so hopefully my treatment will stay on track and I won't have such a big drop next time. It reminded me why when I go to the gym, I feel tired so quickly....so there will not be much jogging for me in the next few months I don't think.

I then started the treatment after taking the nausea tablet and waiting for one hour for that to kick in. My two red syringes were slowly injected followed by a big bag of the second drug. 2.5hrs later, I felt extremely tired, dizzy and a bit sick instantly.

We came straight home and I had some roasted vege to have some goodness in my body. I fell asleep by 8pm and woke up at 10.30pm which is when the living nightmare began! I didn't sleep for the entire night after that as I felt so terrible and this feeling continued all throughout the day yesterday; it was really upsetting and distressing for me as I couldn't fathom how I could go from feeling quite good to so so horrendous in an instant. I felt like every bit of energy and life had been sucked out me and I wanted to curl up in a corner and disappear. Matty was so wonderful and kept coming to check on me and look after me but I could barely muster up any energy to speak to him.

It really hit me yesterday just how much of a challenging journey this will be. I found myself in a deep, dark place where nothing made me feel good and I couldn't even muster up any excitement for all of the amazing things we have ahead of us; once again, I had never felt so sick in all of my life and it was hard. I had been excited beforehand as I knew this would mark a quarter of the way there; yesterday another six sessions was incomprehendable. Even today, I am not sure how I am going to do it another six times.... but deep down I know I can do it and I realise that it will be 24hrs of pure hell then it will get better.

I am feeling much better today but it will still be very much a rest day..... and hopefully one that I can venture outside for a short walk and see the sun and experience the fresh air. That will make an excellent day for me right now.

If you happen to be reading this on your way out, PLEASE just have some fun for me today; do some laughing and make sure you tell the people close to you how much you love them; this is what really matters and all of the lovely kind and heartfelt texts I had yesterday did really help me to get through the day so thank you to my beautiful friends and family.

So two down, six to go. All I can imagine right now is being able to write only ONE session to go... please let that day come soon...

xxx