Infection Fever Turns to Happiness Fever

Two weeks in from chemo 5, I have nearly fully recovered! It has been a long and slow recovery this time round; can you believe that I still have the bruise in my arm from where the needle went in? (that said, it took four times for the needle to go in successfully last time!!!).

I have suffered a bit this week as I got my first infection, which was an interesting experience. I had what I thought was a very simple blister on my heel, which has turned into an infection after I went for a short walk last week....... who would ever have thought that a blister could turn into a very painful infection! My immune system was clearly very low as I didn't have the white cells to repair the skin (which would normally happen in your sleep after some foot cream!).... and as a result, I haven't been able to stand on my foot for most of the week as it's been extremely painful. I took antibiotics and kept it bandaged up so it has improved throughout the week and I am now able to stand on it and walk in my sandals......while I'm sure the rest has been much appreciated by my body, it has been a very frustrating and challenging recovery for me as I'm not the best person to be told to sit still for two whole weeks. But I had to learn very quickly that I shouldn't get frustrated and fight it; I should rest up and appreciate the time I have to sit still!!! (yes I did actually think that!).

I was watching an ABC programme this week about happiness and one of the best insights for me came when the expert was discussing emotions.... he said that in order to feel true happiness, you need to have experienced the full spectrum of emotions - from sadness, grief, loss etc to excitement, laughter & love etc..... now I have always felt that I am extremely lucky to have had such a fabulous life; how many people get to have experienced living on the other side of the world, career success and a life filled with amazingly loving and caring friends and family....... that said, now that I have felt and experienced so much grief, loss and illness, I think that my perspective on life has definitely changed for the better over the past few months. I don't think anyone can ever imagine what it's like to wake up and not feel well enough to get out of bed, shower and do simple things...... and don't worry, neither could I just a few months ago. But now, if I feel well, I am instantly happy every morning as it feels like a massive bonus to feel well.......imagine how excited I will feel when I'm back to full health!

There have been lots of little things that have really helped me to feel happy including:

Listening to music - downloading new songs from iTunes each week (at the moment, I am a big fan of the Jay Z/Alicia Keys Sex in the City Soundtrack - it rocks)

Reading novels - I have had so many friends send me some fabulous books which I have been reading constantly and they have given me a true escapism - so thank you so much to everyone who has sent me these.....and on bad days, magazines are great too......

Cooking - I've been given some great recipes from friends and it has been great fun to experiment in the kitchen using non wheat, dairy, soy and gluten recipes..... "what can you eat" I hear you asking!!! We got a new juicer last night so that will be great fun to experiment with....

Baths - I've never been a big fan of having a bath, but I have loved having the time to do this over the past few months - grab a book or magazine, get the iPod cranking and it's the perfect remedy to feel better

Unleashing your creativity - yes I have loved learning how to knit and sew over the past few months and there is no doubt this has really helped me to feel good and happy.... especially now that I have an entire room dedicated to it..... who knows, it may be the start of something new.... but it has been great fun and I've loved every minute of it.... AND for those of you who thought knitting was for Nannas, apparently it's massive in London and young women now have knitting parties!

Walking/pilates/yoga- prior to my treatment, I ran most days, however, I have not been able to do much running at all, which at first was devastating to me.... but I quickly discovered there is nothing better than getting out in the fresh air and going for a nice walk, especially around our hilly streets! I think this has made a massive difference to my wellbeing as the happiness it brings me to get outside and walk has been huge. I have also loved learning pilates and yoga too; two classes I would never have gone to previously as they were not high energy enough! Boy, how times change.

My blog - I embarked on this project to keep all of my friends around the world updated on what is happening as well as to inspire and educate other cancer patients..... I had no idea how it would evolve and I did feel anxious about revealing all of my inner thoughts and feelings at first but now, I realise that all of the love and support I've received back from it, has helped me soooooo much to get through this journey. It has been a great outlet to unleash my feelings and I look forward to the day I can go back and have a look at my early entries - I'm sure it will help to keep my new perspective on life very fresh! I also hope it has helped people to learn more about their bodies and be more conscious of the things we put into them; if I have impacted on one person, that is a great feeling for me.

I almost cannot believe that I'm back at chemo next Friday (26th). It has come around so quickly but I am also extremely excited that after next Friday, I only have two treatments to go.... my gosh, the end is so in my sight!

I am also going back to work part time after my next treatment which is really exciting. It feels like a distant memory to be in the routine of working each day but I am looking forward to seeing everyone in my team again and feeling very proud of everything they have achieved over the past four months.

Well it is Saturday morning and my good week end so I'm off to enjoy it! I wish you all a really wonderful week end too!

xxx