Two weeks in from chemo 5, I have nearly fully recovered! It has been a long and slow recovery this time round; can you believe that I still have the bruise in my arm from where the needle went in? (that said, it took four times for the needle to go in successfully last time!!!).
I have suffered a bit this week as I got my first infection, which was an interesting experience. I had what I thought was a very simple blister on my heel, which has turned into an infection after I went for a short walk last week....... who would ever have thought that a blister could turn into a very painful infection! My immune system was clearly very low as I didn't have the white cells to repair the skin (which would normally happen in your sleep after some foot cream!).... and as a result, I haven't been able to stand on my foot for most of the week as it's been extremely painful. I took antibiotics and kept it bandaged up so it has improved throughout the week and I am now able to stand on it and walk in my sandals......while I'm sure the rest has been much appreciated by my body, it has been a very frustrating and challenging recovery for me as I'm not the best person to be told to sit still for two whole weeks. But I had to learn very quickly that I shouldn't get frustrated and fight it; I should rest up and appreciate the time I have to sit still!!! (yes I did actually think that!).
I was watching an ABC programme this week about happiness and one of the best insights for me came when the expert was discussing emotions.... he said that in order to feel true happiness, you need to have experienced the full spectrum of emotions - from sadness, grief, loss etc to excitement, laughter & love etc..... now I have always felt that I am extremely lucky to have had such a fabulous life; how many people get to have experienced living on the other side of the world, career success and a life filled with amazingly loving and caring friends and family....... that said, now that I have felt and experienced so much grief, loss and illness, I think that my perspective on life has definitely changed for the better over the past few months. I don't think anyone can ever imagine what it's like to wake up and not feel well enough to get out of bed, shower and do simple things...... and don't worry, neither could I just a few months ago. But now, if I feel well, I am instantly happy every morning as it feels like a massive bonus to feel well.......imagine how excited I will feel when I'm back to full health!
There have been lots of little things that have really helped me to feel happy including:
Listening to music - downloading new songs from iTunes each week (at the moment, I am a big fan of the Jay Z/Alicia Keys Sex in the City Soundtrack - it rocks)
Reading novels - I have had so many friends send me some fabulous books which I have been reading constantly and they have given me a true escapism - so thank you so much to everyone who has sent me these.....and on bad days, magazines are great too......
Cooking - I've been given some great recipes from friends and it has been great fun to experiment in the kitchen using non wheat, dairy, soy and gluten recipes..... "what can you eat" I hear you asking!!! We got a new juicer last night so that will be great fun to experiment with....
Baths - I've never been a big fan of having a bath, but I have loved having the time to do this over the past few months - grab a book or magazine, get the iPod cranking and it's the perfect remedy to feel better
Unleashing your creativity - yes I have loved learning how to knit and sew over the past few months and there is no doubt this has really helped me to feel good and happy.... especially now that I have an entire room dedicated to it..... who knows, it may be the start of something new.... but it has been great fun and I've loved every minute of it.... AND for those of you who thought knitting was for Nannas, apparently it's massive in London and young women now have knitting parties!
Walking/pilates/yoga- prior to my treatment, I ran most days, however, I have not been able to do much running at all, which at first was devastating to me.... but I quickly discovered there is nothing better than getting out in the fresh air and going for a nice walk, especially around our hilly streets! I think this has made a massive difference to my wellbeing as the happiness it brings me to get outside and walk has been huge. I have also loved learning pilates and yoga too; two classes I would never have gone to previously as they were not high energy enough! Boy, how times change.
My blog - I embarked on this project to keep all of my friends around the world updated on what is happening as well as to inspire and educate other cancer patients..... I had no idea how it would evolve and I did feel anxious about revealing all of my inner thoughts and feelings at first but now, I realise that all of the love and support I've received back from it, has helped me soooooo much to get through this journey. It has been a great outlet to unleash my feelings and I look forward to the day I can go back and have a look at my early entries - I'm sure it will help to keep my new perspective on life very fresh! I also hope it has helped people to learn more about their bodies and be more conscious of the things we put into them; if I have impacted on one person, that is a great feeling for me.
I almost cannot believe that I'm back at chemo next Friday (26th). It has come around so quickly but I am also extremely excited that after next Friday, I only have two treatments to go.... my gosh, the end is so in my sight!
I am also going back to work part time after my next treatment which is really exciting. It feels like a distant memory to be in the routine of working each day but I am looking forward to seeing everyone in my team again and feeling very proud of everything they have achieved over the past four months.
Well it is Saturday morning and my good week end so I'm off to enjoy it! I wish you all a really wonderful week end too!
xxx
Friday, November 19, 2010
Thursday, November 11, 2010
Post Chemo 5
I'm not sure where to begin with this post........ it's been a bit of a crazy week and I have found out that a girl I went to primary school with has just been diagnosed with breast cancer and is about to start chemo in two weeks...... I vividly remember reading other blogs before I started chemo and to be frank, I found them depressing! I could never have imagined feeling so terrible and down about anything so I really didn't believe I would ever be in that space......... but then the reality of chemo one hit!
So I always try to write my blog so that it doesn't scare people who are about to start chemo..... but I have to say that this week, it's difficult to do that because chemo is hard and it is like no other feeling you have ever felt before (or that you'll feel ever again hopefully). My biggest resolve is that if I can get through this, I can do ANYTHING! I don't think any other life challenge will quite compare to eight rounds of chemotherapy. And five times into it, I am still astounded at how the human body bounces back from feeling completely depleted to pretty good in a fairly short space of time.
It's really great that I have now had five out of eight sessions but this was the first of the new drug (Docetaxel) and I had heard it was much easier than my previous drugs...... in essence, whoever said this was lying!
After chemo on Monday, I woke up on Tuesday pinching myself as I felt so good and normal that I couldn't believe that I had had chemo!!! I was over the moon....... then Wednesday came........
I woke up feeling terrible..... I spent the entire day in bed sleeping; which I have never done before after any treatment! Every bit of energy had been sapped from my body, my head was muddy and I was so fatigued like never before. I was taking high doses of supplements but they didn't make a huge difference like they had with the previous treatments..... I saw Ben (my kineso) on Thursday and he adjusted my supplement doses and gave me the equivalent of 100 folic acid tablets (he said he's only ever given one other person this dosage) and upped my doses of everything else......
One of the side effects of the new chemo drug is aching bones.... my god, I felt every single bone in my body ache and ache yesterday - from my elbows to my knees, it was painful! There is a high chance of chemo patients developing osteoporosis so I am trying to keep as active as possible to avoid this happening..... all I can say is if this is a taste of what osteo feels like, I never want to develop it!
Today is Friday and I'm feeling slightly better but I have to say that I don't feel like chemo is getting any easier; and three more of the same sounds like a massive challenge to me right now! I consider myself to be a pretty strong person and each time, I find that it takes every bit of energy to pull me back into a positive mindset........
I have realised this week how lucky I have been to have Matt here at home with me up until now, helping me every step of the way to get through it...... I REALLY feel for people who are doing the treatment alone as it is one long and lonely journey; especially through the dark days and moments......
But I stay focused on all of the amazing things we have to look forward to, especially our wedding..... on some days, I dream about simple things like getting into my jeans and heels and going to a bar for a glass of champagne or going out for a nice dinner....... oh I will never take these outings we enjoyed regularly for granted again!
Come January, there is no doubt I will be the happiest person in the world. While this journey has taught me so much about myself, I never want to be on it again.......
Bring on 2011!
xx
So I always try to write my blog so that it doesn't scare people who are about to start chemo..... but I have to say that this week, it's difficult to do that because chemo is hard and it is like no other feeling you have ever felt before (or that you'll feel ever again hopefully). My biggest resolve is that if I can get through this, I can do ANYTHING! I don't think any other life challenge will quite compare to eight rounds of chemotherapy. And five times into it, I am still astounded at how the human body bounces back from feeling completely depleted to pretty good in a fairly short space of time.
It's really great that I have now had five out of eight sessions but this was the first of the new drug (Docetaxel) and I had heard it was much easier than my previous drugs...... in essence, whoever said this was lying!
After chemo on Monday, I woke up on Tuesday pinching myself as I felt so good and normal that I couldn't believe that I had had chemo!!! I was over the moon....... then Wednesday came........
I woke up feeling terrible..... I spent the entire day in bed sleeping; which I have never done before after any treatment! Every bit of energy had been sapped from my body, my head was muddy and I was so fatigued like never before. I was taking high doses of supplements but they didn't make a huge difference like they had with the previous treatments..... I saw Ben (my kineso) on Thursday and he adjusted my supplement doses and gave me the equivalent of 100 folic acid tablets (he said he's only ever given one other person this dosage) and upped my doses of everything else......
One of the side effects of the new chemo drug is aching bones.... my god, I felt every single bone in my body ache and ache yesterday - from my elbows to my knees, it was painful! There is a high chance of chemo patients developing osteoporosis so I am trying to keep as active as possible to avoid this happening..... all I can say is if this is a taste of what osteo feels like, I never want to develop it!
Today is Friday and I'm feeling slightly better but I have to say that I don't feel like chemo is getting any easier; and three more of the same sounds like a massive challenge to me right now! I consider myself to be a pretty strong person and each time, I find that it takes every bit of energy to pull me back into a positive mindset........
I have realised this week how lucky I have been to have Matt here at home with me up until now, helping me every step of the way to get through it...... I REALLY feel for people who are doing the treatment alone as it is one long and lonely journey; especially through the dark days and moments......
But I stay focused on all of the amazing things we have to look forward to, especially our wedding..... on some days, I dream about simple things like getting into my jeans and heels and going to a bar for a glass of champagne or going out for a nice dinner....... oh I will never take these outings we enjoyed regularly for granted again!
Come January, there is no doubt I will be the happiest person in the world. While this journey has taught me so much about myself, I never want to be on it again.......
Bring on 2011!
xx
Sunday, November 7, 2010
Soothing The Soul During Chemo
It's the day of treatment number five, and I am VERY excited about being able to say that I only have three treatments to go after today; it now really feels like I'm on the home stretch which is a big achievement given where I was after the first couple of treatments.
My health over the past couple of weeks has continued to be good and so much better than every other treatment so far, so chemo for me is definitely getting easier! Many people ask whether you get worse as the treatment goes on as your immune system is operating at about 30% and for me, with the help of a strict new diet and lots of probiotic supplements, I am surprising myself at how my body is bouncing back and tackling the treatment.
After reaching the half way milestone, my beautiful partner Matt got a new job, so we have taken some time out to have a holiday together before he starts today. For me, it was really great to get away and forget about breast cancer and chemo for a few days and to feel like a normal person again! We had an AMAZING break and I really encourage anyone going through chemo to take time out to go away and treat yourself........in fact we had such a great time that I have forgotten what the feeling of chemo is like......... so it is true; holidays soothe the soul!
My new diet with no wheat, dairy, soy or gluten is going well and I have really not found the adjustment difficult at all. Yes, we need to be more organised than before and take a few supplies with us but overall, I really feel that our diet now is how everyone should be eating all of the time. The focus is very much on meat, veges, salad and fruit and my body is feeling so much better for it! For snacks, I can eat nuts, fruit, avocado on corn bread or any home made treats (with potato, buckwheat or rice flour).
If I do fancy a treat, thai and indian cuisines are best for me as they have a base of coconut milk and I can eat rice! So there are many many options and I am enjoying the response my body has been giving me since the change. I really believe this and all the other advice my kinesiologist has given me will lead to a long and healthy existence!
A friend who has had cancer very kindly sent me a product which he believes helped to cure him. It's imported from the US and is called Mona Vie. It is a blend of the Brazilian Acai berry - a superfood- and 18 other beneficial fruits. It's great to experiment with new products like this so I will take it for a few days, see how I feel and also take it to my kineso to get tested! (thanks Glenn!)
So today my drugs change and they are supposed to be much easier than the ones I've had before...... I can only hope that tonight, tomorrow and the next week brings me good health and that I continue to feel good and strong during treatment. I am pretty confident this will happen although I am feeling a little nervous.
It has been so great to forget about cancer and chemo during this treatment and I am feeling so much happier that I'm another step closer to defeating this disease and getting back to living a normal life. I am hopefully going to be well enough to return to work part time next week which is very exciting - (I have forgotten what dressing up in skirts and heels feels like, so Alannah I'm back very soon!!!)..... thank goodness I've been keeping the brain as active as I can and my boss and team have been keeping me in the loop with the happenings in the office so I am looking forward to going back.
So after today, FIVE down and THREE to go....... what an amazing feeling!
xxx
My health over the past couple of weeks has continued to be good and so much better than every other treatment so far, so chemo for me is definitely getting easier! Many people ask whether you get worse as the treatment goes on as your immune system is operating at about 30% and for me, with the help of a strict new diet and lots of probiotic supplements, I am surprising myself at how my body is bouncing back and tackling the treatment.
After reaching the half way milestone, my beautiful partner Matt got a new job, so we have taken some time out to have a holiday together before he starts today. For me, it was really great to get away and forget about breast cancer and chemo for a few days and to feel like a normal person again! We had an AMAZING break and I really encourage anyone going through chemo to take time out to go away and treat yourself........in fact we had such a great time that I have forgotten what the feeling of chemo is like......... so it is true; holidays soothe the soul!
My new diet with no wheat, dairy, soy or gluten is going well and I have really not found the adjustment difficult at all. Yes, we need to be more organised than before and take a few supplies with us but overall, I really feel that our diet now is how everyone should be eating all of the time. The focus is very much on meat, veges, salad and fruit and my body is feeling so much better for it! For snacks, I can eat nuts, fruit, avocado on corn bread or any home made treats (with potato, buckwheat or rice flour).
If I do fancy a treat, thai and indian cuisines are best for me as they have a base of coconut milk and I can eat rice! So there are many many options and I am enjoying the response my body has been giving me since the change. I really believe this and all the other advice my kinesiologist has given me will lead to a long and healthy existence!
A friend who has had cancer very kindly sent me a product which he believes helped to cure him. It's imported from the US and is called Mona Vie. It is a blend of the Brazilian Acai berry - a superfood- and 18 other beneficial fruits. It's great to experiment with new products like this so I will take it for a few days, see how I feel and also take it to my kineso to get tested! (thanks Glenn!)
So today my drugs change and they are supposed to be much easier than the ones I've had before...... I can only hope that tonight, tomorrow and the next week brings me good health and that I continue to feel good and strong during treatment. I am pretty confident this will happen although I am feeling a little nervous.
It has been so great to forget about cancer and chemo during this treatment and I am feeling so much happier that I'm another step closer to defeating this disease and getting back to living a normal life. I am hopefully going to be well enough to return to work part time next week which is very exciting - (I have forgotten what dressing up in skirts and heels feels like, so Alannah I'm back very soon!!!)..... thank goodness I've been keeping the brain as active as I can and my boss and team have been keeping me in the loop with the happenings in the office so I am looking forward to going back.
So after today, FIVE down and THREE to go....... what an amazing feeling!
xxx
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