My Naughty Little Confession

It's been a good week for me overall, with great progress being made with my kineso. I saw him on Friday and we tested a few more things.....one of which was hommus. This was a great replacement for butter on some corn bread and avocado, however, after my big sis watched Sex In the City 2 (who said SITC was not educational!!), she learnt that it contains estrogen. As my cancer was hormone/estrogen positive, this means I have had too much estrogen in my body. Sure enough, we tested it and my body went crazy with it!

Basically, it contains a natural substance called phytoestrogen, which is found in many foods, including fruit/vege/nuts etc (here is a list: http://www.dietaryfiberfood.com/phytoestrogen.php). Soy products contain the highest volumes of phytoestrogen and they are normally recommended to women to eat lots of these products to actually prevent cancer. My body however, cannot tolerate soy nor hommus (or anything with high volumes of phytoestrogen in). I am now hoping that it's only the foods with really high content levels of phytoestrogen that I cannot tolerate..... nevertheless, it felt like I'm making great progress as I was eating hommus after chemo 3, so I am hoping if I avoid any of these foods for the week, that I will feel even better next time round (yes Friday marks the half way milestone!).

My kineso mentioned that my body is super sensitive to foods and that I'm going to have to be very careful for the rest of my life.... he also mentioned that most people can eat all of these foods without any problems; these are simply the cards I've been dealt this time round...... but after a week of eating fresh food only last week, I felt great by the end of the week. While I am fully trusting what he says, I do find it difficult to rationalise as I have never felt sick or different after eating any foods and I would have said that we had a very balanced diet before all of this...so I do find that a bit strange.... but I have also seen and felt how my body now reacts to foods and it is hyper sensitive so I must listen to it!

Which brings me onto my little confession. I'm writing this entry mostly so that I can come back to it later and remember it so that I am not naughty again!

Context: so remember we are talking about a big chocolate lover here..... I used to enjoy nothing more than to indulge in a couple of pieces of beautiful dark chocolate after dinner not every night, but many nights!!! And I've been deprived of chocolate for nearly two months now.....

So I got a devine hamper brought over to me from some lovely work colleagues (it was spectacular). It was full of so much fresh fruit, tea, nuts, home made cookies and yes, home made chocolates!!! hmmmmmm They looked simply delicious and after a week of eating nothing but fruit and vegetables (you can tell where this is heading can't you?!), boy, I felt like a treat on Saturday ( don't we all deserve a treat on the wk end??!!). SO..... I thought I had better try one.... then two..... then three..... and then I stopped.... they went down a treat and I ate nothing else for the day apart from fruit and vege. Never did I dream that the impact would be noticable......(I mean they were tiny little chocolates!!)

I woke on Sunday morning feeling terrible!!! My body was struggling through the morning and I can only put it down to the chocolates..... so I learnt my lesson not to be such a little pig! I couldn't believe how bad my body felt..... so I made myself go to the gym for a walk/jog and did feel better after that and lots of water and supplements! While it was a bit of a painful lesson to learn, I now know just how sensitive my body is so I mustn't do it again.....

Apart from that, I have been feeling the best I've felt this time round. I have done lots of my creative work; I have even started knitting some funky tea cosies this week (gees, I even sound like a Nanna now!) and I have made some of my beautiful silk scarves, which I have to say I am quite proud of as they actually look nice!

We have also done some baking and found some good recipes for treats e.g. banana muffins and soy/dairy free melting moments which are delicious.

So I only have a few days to go before I'm back at the hospital and obviously dreading it. This treatment however, is the last of the worst drugs (so I'm told) so next time I will have a new drug, which is apparently a lot easier. It also marks the half way mark of chemo; yiipppeee!

I have been excited this week as we did our english family xmas draw and I noticed yesterday that the xmas shop is alive and happening in Myer.... so bring on Xmas 2010.... as it means I only have one chemo session to go....and that will be a time for celebration!

Here's to chemo session four - I am REALLY hoping that all of the progress I've made with my kineso will pay off.....and who knows, I may be even better this time than last!

xx